this weekend, was THE worst weekend of my life. i was stupid to go to the party.. i almost lost my boyfriend to my fault, luckily he loves me enough to look past the "assumpted" mistake. i love him more than anything and i'm finally realizing that i'm meant to be with him and i can not see myself with anyone else because there is no one out there that i will mesch with as much as i do with him. we're going on 6months on the 8th [two days away.] and it's going to go much longer than that.
THE END.
so my title absolutely goes withthis entry. i've actually been sitting here wanting to write an entry, but just haven't the energy? lol so i really don't feel like writing about last weekend, it was such a long weekend so i'm pretty much just going to start over right now.
it's nearly summer.. this past week was the last full school week, how crazy is that? i remember like it was yesterday.. 1st semester, sitting in bio pd. 2/3 bumming out because it was only the second week of school and it was just not going to fly by.. WTF?! haha school is pretty much over? i'm really glad for that, and another thing im glad for, is the way this year has changed me. besides all the hormonal imbalances and mood swings, high school has transformed me into someone that i can deal with, into someone im proud to be. i love my friends, i love my classes and ive never been so close with my family, not to mention a "maturity" door has hit. everything is coming at me so fast and EASY. my adrenaline is like raging throughout the day because i strive for something exciting to happen, because that's how my life is anymore, free and exciting.
okay so we got a pool 2 days ago :] im SUPER excited. i slept in yesterday & missed school so i decided to lay out on the deck between the hours of 10:30 and 3, crazy, i know? the hottest hours of the day.. hah you should see my stomach, it's dark pink compared to my bikini bottom tanline =S & i can't waitttt to get more of it :] i love getting burnt, i deal with the pain just to get a lovely dark tan. from living in florida the first 8 years of my life, my skin is pretty much used to sun and capturing the pigment. i definately sounded WAY too smart there i think? haha.
so lastnight jonathan spilled his heart out for me.. unlike any other boyfriend that ever has.. which is ridiculously amazing because i thought i had seen it all. i can honestly say 100,000 times that i love this kid so much.. i know i do, and i know im supposed to be with him, i just have that feeling you know? that feeling that i get when he kisses my forhead, or when he pulls me aside in school just to give me a kiss and tell me that he loves me. which is always :] he loves me so much.. and this past nearly 6 months have been the best.. we've been through so much, and to still have this relationship upbeat and happy this far into it, im sure we can go longer. i'm hoping we make it to at least a year.. at the LEAST. im sure we will; i just pray that no one else comes along and i stick with him.. and if someone does come along, hey, everything happens for a reason, and there will be a reason for it. but for now, he's mine, my everything, and nothing will ever change that. :] <3
BAM so i started a band =D that's right, a punk pop band with a female singer will be starring in Hazleton hopefully by next summer, it's going to take so much work, i hope i can handle it. :]
well this weekend should be really interesting. tonight is ryan and dan's birthday party at pud's house, it's going to be crazy, im debating if i even want to go? im really nervous that something crazy is going to happen.. but if i do go, nikki will be there so it'll be okay. and tomorrow my favorrrrrriiiteeee aunt is coming from Ohio =DD ahh and i get to babysit the baby too :] she's absolutely amazingly adorable.. she has to be the most perfect baby in the world! i'll definatley have a picture up of her soon on here. other than that im pretty sure my aunt is dyeing my hair for me, for she's close to being a professional hair stylist.. her haircuts are formally charged 50-80$ and 30 for children? her styles and cuts were in magazines.. i SWEAR on my life and the lord above me.. she's so unique and i lovaa her to death.. the worst part is having to say goodbye when she leaves.. but i'll make the best of her time here :]
well there ya have it, FINALLY an update. i found that i used caps alot in this entry? hm, different of me. i guess it's the enthusiam im trying to send out for you all. okay so check for an update within the next couple of days!! <333
i HATE my body.
i HATE my face.
i HATE sluts.
and i HATE the way i take it out on other people.
grrrrrr
i give up completely.
yesterday went very well. nikki and i walked up to my house after school. actually, we only made it up to the field hockey field when seanyb and steve-o picked us up :] they dropped us off at my house then nikki and i went up to the skate park and chilled with them cool catz. dan taught me basic skateboarding skills, and on that topic, im not that bad ;]
battle of the bands was lastnight..jonathan's band didn't do as well as they usually do.. i was kind of bummed. Between the Two won, which is pretty lame i think. they didnt have the crowd going like Beyond Bleeding Eyes did.. plus i think they won because Brooke took his shirt off. so yeah, that's my opinion.
ahhh it's going to be a whopping 80° today =D i'm exciiiited. i just might tan today & take advantage of the weather, who wouldn't? so i really dont have alot to say. i'll write tomorrow like usual<3
i love my boyfriend alot<3 nearly half a year, and he means the world to me.
yesterday turned out to be particularly swell :] jonathan came over after school. we were supposed to go pick up my brother but my dad went instead on the bike. jonathan and i took a 3hour nap :]] i was so happy to wake up and find myself laying with him, ahhh i love him alot. i hate not being around him every second of every minute of every hour of every day, etc. he means so much to me. so after our nap we sat in my livingroom and watched the Fox and the Hound. :[ you know i cried histarically at the part where she's resiting that poem as she's taking tod down to the game preserve.. if you've seen the movie, and know what part im talking about, then you'll understand. sad sad sad movie. but in the end everything worked out okay :] hah so im kindddd of a little kid alot but that's okay.
today nikki is coming over after school, we're gonna hang out then walk down to battle of the bands for 6ish. jonathan's band is playing, along with quite a few others. im not so sure they'll win, only because the other bands are way more experienced, and have quite some talent. not to say that his band doesnt, but you know what i mean? i just pray that they do well, thats all i care about.
so that's pretty much it for my entry today, im sure i'll update tomorrow telling how today went. look forward to that i guess. byee<33
so my weekend was pretty much played by ear. friday i unexpectedly ended up staying in ftownn at Nikki's house. it was such a good time. from the moment i walkd in the door it was just crazy. we went up to nikki's room and sat there for a little bit, then finally we got money and went n' split a large gravy cheese fry at pizza zeppole :] yummm x1000000. i ended up losing my 5 dollars but yeah thats ok? it was nice though, nikki and i talked about alot and we got really deep in conversation and became alot closer. when we left zeppole bert walked by, so we tagged along with him for a bit, then left him off at richie's house. soo after that we went back to nikki's, got ready, and went righhtt back out over to riche's to keep Karey[nikki's brother's fiance] company while eveyrone was drinking because well, she's pregnant and she was surrounded by guys. when i got there i was really nervous, almost really uncomfortable. i've never been around marijuana, or a bunch of people drinking, especially since i didnt know them. they weren't smoking weed or anything, but they were drinking.. and im straight edge so it was really awkward. i told myself.. that i did not have to drink to impress these people, i have respect for myself and i'll show them that if i dont want to drink, i sure as hell wont drink. so i didnt. i watched nikki, ashley and 2 other guys play the card game " asshole " it's pretty complicated. we left around 10:30.. because that's when the other guys would get back with their *stuff* and nikki didnt wana be around that, and i sure didn't want to either. it's not that i feel guilty.. because i know that i didnt do anything wrong. i dont know if being around that was wrong, or what. but i know im innocent. so nikki and i went back to her house then for the night. her mom let us have a few pucker slushies, YUM :] we were a littleeee tipsyy but that's ok ;]
saturday we had to be back at my house for around 3, we got there around 4:30 which was okay though. saturday must have been the best night ever.. nikki missed ryan so much.. and she seriously just wanted to tell him everything and get him back. soooo i called ryan up cuz he's my bud.. and he came up. we caught him off guard by nikki being on my back porch so she could take a walk with him and talk.. sure enough.. THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER =D i'm so unbelievably happy, you have nooo idea :]
well that's all for today. im going over jonathan's after school, yay. and i'll update tomorrow.byeee<3
^ so i really love the early november alot now a days.
yesterday couldn't have gotten any BETTER. after school i tried calling home to see if i could go out to eat with ryan. i ended up having to go home but when i got home i walked in my room and there it was.. a little black box with my name on it :] MACMACMACMACMAC. i was so excitedddd :] and i'm really happy for what i got. just a foundation and a shimmer loose powder to go over it =] it's perfect. so i took some new pictures for myspace, then i called ryan up to see what the plan was. about 20minutes later him and i were down at the jumbo stuffing our faces. it's so weird because around him.. i'm not shy or insecure, i feel perfect. i wish i could be like that around everyone. his goal is to hang out with me as much as possible.. just to try and help me with this body consciousness, until then, that's fine with me. :] after we were done eatinggg we went to leave and it was POURING. we had walked down so um yeah it kinda sucked. butttt ryan saved the moment and called over pudd's house. dan came and picked us up, we went over to micky d's to get seany b some food, then back to pudds. what a crazy house that is. it ended up being me, ryan, seanyb, dan, vinnie, pudd of course, zola & little zola, kenny and maybee 2more people? i got to see Arsenal Mayhem practice =D they're going to become famous, and everyone knows it! and i know them ALL :]] ok so anyways, the day/night went on, we sat there by pudds computer telling stories about pudds kickass parties, laughing histarically as he made absolutely every body in the house on this south park studio "photoshop" thing. of course i looked like a 4year old virgin with a lollipop haha it was cute. i had to be home for like 7, which is pretty lame but that's alright, i had stuff to do anyways. ryan walked me pretty much the whole way to my house, how nice of him :] we took a lovely picca together then i was off! he's the greatest. we plan on hanging out alot more.
so i got home, took a nice shower then did some laundry. i had to babysit but barely cuz my brother came in my room and fell asleep at like 8:30? lol so it was about.. 11:00 and im on the phone with jonathan getting into bed because i was SO unbelievable tired..and i forgot to do my spanish project. UGH sometimes its ok to procrastinate a little, but wow i take it farther than procrastination. i tell myself everytime i have a project assignment that im gonna do it early, make it really nice so i dont have to worry about it. i even tell mom early about it so i can get stuff for it.. but do i? no. i had to make a family album 9-11 pages and each page had to have a picture of a family member and 4 sentences about them in spanish. easy, but it took a while, i still don't even have tape to put it all together, i'm a little distressed at the moment if i'll get it done or not. maybe i'll skip lunch or something and work on it in the library and make jonathan come with me, cuz they're checking schedules again & he isn't supposed to be in my lunch. he made a fake one, but he doesnt have it anymore to show them if they take his name or whatever, and we don't need that.
so nikki wasn't in school all week :[ but she's sure here todayyy! whoopieee. she was supposed to stay for the weekend like usual but her mommy said she wasnt allowed, which is really lame because it's not like she skipped today. blah maybe i'll stay at her house or something, that could work. i miss her alot.
well this is my entry for today :] im hoping that the weekend will sweep me off of my feet and i'll be able to write at least 6 nice paragraphs for all you mindsay'ers and friends on monday. i'll update then! byeee<3
